TRAILER - Digital Playground presents My Haunted House starring Stoya and Tanya Tate, Brandy Aniston, Baily Blue, Marcus London, Evan Stone, Johnny Sinns and James Deen.
My Haunted House is available on DVD/Blu-Ray Combo Pack 01-15-2013.
Hey look! It’s another porno!
It’ll be out just in time for AVN/AEE.
Have I mentioned that Bailey Blue is incredibly cute?
I used to be able to say that, for the most part, the sex I had on camera was very much like the sex I have at home. Sure, I don’t usually groom my pubic hair, shave my legs, and put on a full face of makeup for sex in my personal life. There’s also the attempt to avoid showing the camera nothing but the back of someone’s head or blocking penetration with one’s thigh and the interruption of makeup artists running in for touch ups. However, the pounding, biting, spanking, scratching, choking, slapping and shoving a dick so far into my throat that I gag are all par for the course at home. Fun fact: gagging produces a thick, clear fluid somewhere in between spit and vomit that works better as a lubricant than anything I’ve ever purchased in a bottle.
At least in my experience, there have always been guidelines for sex on camera. Four fingers in an orifice are ok but a full fist is largely banned. Rough sex should be continuously asked for and visibly enjoyed or accompanied by a disclaimer explaining that it’s a fantasy being acted out by consenting adults. “Squirting” or female ejaculation is acceptable in most parts of the world but urine is not. Feces and blood are not shown.
The ways that media is purchased and distributed have changed. Streaming video and downloads on the web are now more popular than DVDs. This means that we now cater to the tastes of the credit card and billing companies, which means even more guidelines. At the company I work for, as of a couple of months ago, we are required to refrain from biting, spanking, scratching, choking, slapping, and - while gagging has yet to be discussed - the hands of a blow job recipient on the head of a blow job giver are not allowed. Sex can absolutely be quite enjoyable without these things, but further rules being applied to the way that I copulate at work made me start thinking about some of the other differences between sex-for-pornography and sex-in-real-life.
For instance, let’s look at anal sex. At work, there’s a process of clearing out all traces of fecal matter before we start filming. Sometimes it involves sticking my finger in my rectum and making sure it’s clean, and sometimes it involves 20 minutes to an hour of enemas with bottled water. Sometimes all that water just makes the intestinal situation liquid and we only get five minutes of footage or the anal part of the scene has to be cancelled. In my personal life, I’m more casual about the whole thing. It’s a rectum, and while putting things in my rectum is fun its main purpose is temporarily storing feces. If you want to stick your finger or penis in an anus there’s a possibility that you’re going to encounter some poop and I believe you have to be ok with that. It’s buttsex. Small (or sometimes horrifyingly large) amounts of poop happen. Wash whatever has poop on it with soap and water before putting it anywhere else and move on with your life. Or fingerpaint with it if that’s your thing. While I’m sure my personal disgust for playing with feces is coming through, I’m not here to judge what you do for sexual gratification.
And what about blood? Germaine Greer, one of the luminaries of mid-20th century feminism, wrote in The Female Eunuch that “If you think you are emancipated, you might consider the idea of tasting your own menstrual blood - if it makes you sick, you’ve got a long way to go, baby.” Menstrual blood is a significant part of being a woman between puberty and menopause. I’ve spent almost a quarter of the past thirteen years with blood coming out of my vagina, and I’ve never let it stop me from having sex. Some people think menstrual blood is gross, others find it arousing, and I see it as yet another type of fluid that happens in my underpants. For the camera we have various techniques including cold water douches, absorbent sponges, and cutting multiple times during the sex scene to wipe up any traces of blood. Also, people may try not to book scenes when they’re likely to be bleeding heavily. If I wanted to play with context and phrasing, this could easily be construed as billing companies deeming the visible evidence of my natural fertility offensive.
Keeping my legs open in a particular way for the camera, twisting my torso so my face is visible, and refraining from certain acts that make a product more difficult (or impossible) to sell is part of doing my job well. Pornography is a business and the sales are the reason that I get my paycheck. However, when the portrayal of women in media and the cultural effects of pornography on sex are being talked about the (incorrectly perceived) lack of pubic hair gets plenty of discussion time but I frequently find talk about the realities of menstruation and anal sex conspicuously missing.
…and here’s what I have to say about it at the moment:
Sex, like shelter and food, is something that humans are generally wired to desire. I recognize the legitimacy of asexuality, but this can’t wait until I have the ability to see where asexuality fits in here. I also don’t know enough about trans people and the struggles they face to discuss how they are affected by the closed-minded moral panic in our culture. Some humans have XX chromosomes, others have XY chromosomes. The ones with XX chromosomes generally have an extra orifice and the ones with XY chromosomes generally have an extra protrusion. Females (the ones with the extra orifice) have fought in an organized manner for over a century to have the same rights as men. We still don’t have equal opportunity and pay in the US and in some other countries treatment of women is truly horrific. A solid half of humanity has been for centuries and still is written off as inferior over an extra hole.
Men who mostly or entirely desire men in a sexual way and women who mostly or entirely desire women in a sexual way have fought in an organized manner for over forty years to have the same rights as heterosexual people. Their romantic partnerships still remain unrecognized in many states. In many countries homosexuality is still a punishable crime.
I could go on at length about various groups of people who have or still are experiencing discrimination for being “different” than another group.
I don’t understand how anyone could read an article like this one in the New York Times and still believe that there was any reasonable cause for Measure B. Scientists who devote their whole careers to studying HIV say that they don’t think there is any question that the adult industry’s methods of protecting ourselves work.
Women are people. Homosexuals are people. People of all colors are people. Low-income people are people. Rich people are people. Sexually open people are people. Professional pornographers are people. Every last one of us has been a hypocrite at some point in our lives. We have all failed to sympathize with the persecution and suffering of another person or group because or in spite of our own struggles.
Measure B is our version of the December 2009 defeat of same-sex marriage legislation in NY, a “women in binders” moment. It could become our Stonewall or our Roe v. Wade.
We (the adult industry) are still speaking against it. We need to fight the lack of understanding about and discrimination against our industry, the same way that women and homosexuals have fought over the past century, to be seen as actual people with actual rights. Women (and men) who passed through the edges of the naked person business and moved on to other things shouldn’t have to make a choice between honesty about their past and credibility in their present. “Career” sex workers shouldn’t have their jobs used as excuses to strip them of rights. The personal is still political.
… to a number of private questions asking variations of “Is there something wrong with me if I like/don’t like ____?”
At least in the United States, you have the right to be wanton, sexually provocative, and promiscuous. You have the right to wear as little clothing as legally allowed by the government where you live. Actually, I guess you can wear less clothing than legally allowed as you don’t mind dealing with the hassle of being arrested and having a record. You can have sex with men, women, people who identify as in-between or as neither. You can find consenting and enthusiastic partners for the most depraved erotic acts your brain or someone else’s can imagine. You might not have the legal right to engage in these acts according to the state or county you live in, but if everyone involved is a rational, consenting adult and you keep your metaphorical blinds closed you’ll probably be ok. I am not a lawyer and “you’ll probably be ok” does not in any way mean that I have any idea what I’m talking about when it comes to giving blowjobs in Virginia. You have the right to communicate your desires in what is ideally a respectful manner and hope that the person(s) you’re attracted to share them.
Conversely, you don’t have to exercise any of those rights.
Neither the sex industry nor recreational promiscuity are for everyone. You can be friends with known pornographers and prostitutes without being one yourself. Being accepting of whatever safe, sane, and consensual acts people want to engage in with their bodies is awesome. You shouldn’t feel like you have to engage in the same acts as your friends or what you see on the internet to prove your solidarity or something.
Asexuality is definitely a thing. I don’t personally understand it, but if it makes you happy go for it. Or don’t go for it. Go for not-it? I’m going to remove my foot from my mouth now.
Liking sex doesn’t mean you have to be up for it 24/7, do it with thirty-five different people in a week, or walk around with the majority of your ass hanging out whenever the weather permits. I’ve had sex with plenty of men and some women who don’t understand or care about my love for fancy lingerie and who find pajamas, jeans, and sneakers hotter than french lace and high heels.
If you only want sex every three months and you love doing it with the lights off missionary style, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. There are potential partners who want the same, or who like it once every three months with the lights off doggy style and will be willing to take turns with your favored position and theirs.
If you fantasize about banging raccoons I’d be willing to bet there’s someone out there who wants to dress up like a raccoon and make whatever noises see plausible while getting banged. I recommend not banging actual raccoons because they are animals and can’t consent. Also: claws and potential rabies. (Cue the one person who believes in the rights of raccoons to consent to and enjoy sex with humans.)
If you want it filthy, rough, and hard three times a day for half the month and maybe once or twice a week while gazing into each others’ eyes for the other half, you can find one or more people willing to accommodate. I may be talking about myself here.
You’re highly unlikely to find any of these things until you figure out what you want and get comfortable with asking for it.
tl:dr There’s nothing wrong with you if you aren’t that into sex. Communication is super important. For every “weird” thing you’re into, there’s someone else out there that’s into it too.
Wrapping up from parts 1 and 2:
Are you totally freaked out and considering never having sex again or only having sex with a completely faithful monogamous partner? Some of you definitely are. I know this because some of you have said so privately and publicly.
That’s ok. You have this really awesome thing called free will. You have the privilege of deciding what you are and are not comfortable with in any situation. You have the right to tell your partner(s) and potential partners what you want and expect them to respect your limits and boundaries. They also have free will and may have desires and boundaries that are different than yours.
You can choose complete abstinence. You can choose to masturbate alone only after carefully scrubbing your hands with bleach. You can choose to kiss and masturbate together without exchanging any fluids aside from spit. You can choose to only have sex with partners who have been tested within the past three days and use every form of barrier protection available. You can choose to never ask about tests, never get tested, and never use a condom, much less a dental dam or latex gloves. In my opinion, that last one is an extremely unsafe choice, but you have to make your own decisions. Ideally, you make these choices after looking at the benefits and consequences of each of the possibilities. Ideally you only act on these choices after coming to terms with the risks you’re taking.
Sometimes people who you want to have sexual interactions with will not agree with your choices. You can choose to compromise but it’s really important to remember that you can also choose to say no. You can say no at any point. You can say no when you’re already back at their place and a part of you is inside one of their orifices or vice versa.
When you say no, you have to say it. If you don’t say it, they can’t hear it.
They might not want to take no for an answer. They might get offended or not like you anymore because you rejected them. It sucks when that happens, but here’s the thing: there are going to be people in the world who dislike you for no reason at all. There are going to be people in the world who dislike you for reasons that come from places of bigotry or misinformation. There are also probably going to be people in the world who dislike you for valid reasons. To me, deciding what you’re comfortable with sexually, expressing those limits, and expecting others to respect them doesn’t seem like a valid reason for dislike.
When you want to say yes, it’s pretty awesome to say yes, too.
Personally, I’m shy when it comes to the yes part. Most of my yeses are communicated through a wide variety of noises which are not actual words, body language, and text messages that actually cause me to blush when I push “send.” Let me reiterate: I, a woman who gladly has all sorts of sex for public consumption in front of super high-def cameras and regularly tells the internet (and friends/complete strangers who make the mistake of asking in real life) ALL about her menstrual cycle, get shy about expressing specific sexual desires. I can’t imagine how difficult it might be for people who grew up with sex-negative parents or were frequently shamed early in their sexual development without a helpful support system.
The point here is that after educating yourself and choosing the protective measures that you want to use in a given situation, the next step is to communicate.
Hopefully you’ve read part 1 and are ready to forge ahead into part 2 with me. Onward to trichomoniasis!
Trichomoniasis is a parasite that can live in both vaginas and penises. It doesn’t usually have symptoms. When there are symptoms, they may include itching, odd smells, or discharge. There is a test available that involves taking a sample of vaginal or urethral discharge.
Gonorrhea and chlamydia are bacterial infections that can occur in vaginas, penises, anuses and mouths. Like with trich, people infected with gonorrhea or chlamydia frequently do not show symptoms. When people with gonorrhea or chlamydia do show symptoms, the symptoms may include itching, burning when urinating, odd discharge, vaginal bleeding in between periods, and lower abdominal or testicle pain. There is a test available that involves peeing in a sterile cup. It has to be the doctor’s office’s sterile cup. They will not let you use your own. I know this because I’ve asked multiple doctors if I could pee in cups at home to avoid chugging water on the way in for my test and then nearly peeing in my underpants on the subway or while stuck in traffic and they have all said no.
Using latex male condoms is still the best way to prevent transmission of a trichomoniasis, gonorrhea, or chlamydia infection from one person’s genitals to another’s during penetrative sex. Polyurethane and polyisoprene male condoms are also approved by the FDA for prevention of STI transmission, but are not as highly recommended. They do cause fewer allergic reactions, and are definitely more effective than no condom. Internal (or “female”) condoms are considered less safe than latex or polyurethane/polyisoprene condoms, but are again better than nothing. Personally, I tried and failed at vaginal use of the internal condom. I haven’t tried anal use. I am sort of afraid it might get shoved so far into my rectum that I’d need a doctor to fish it out, and am still waiting on that hypothetical lady dressed in librarian gear to come explain what I am doing wrong.
Gonorrhea and chlamydia can both be transmitted through oral sex. Meaning, if your partner has chlamydia or gonorrhea and you put your mouth on their genitals, you can end up with an infection in your throat. I know there is at least one person out there who enjoys giving oral sex to people with penises and is thinking that they’ll be ok if they just don’t swallow the semen. This is incorrect. Pre-ejaculate or preseminal fluid (that yummy clear stuff that comes out of a man’s urethra when he is aroused) can carry both chlamydia and gonorrhea. You could use a condom for oral stimulation on a penis and a dental dam for oral stimulation on a vagina or anus. I have used condoms for blowjobs. It’s about 30 times more difficult, but if you really want to put your mouth on that penis and can’t wait until the person it is attached to has been tested, it’s better than nothing. I don’t know anything about dental dams other than the fact that they can be made by cutting a condom or medical grade latex or polyurethane glove down the middle. I don’t know of a single person who has successfully used a dental dam and would really love to hear from anyone who has. Maybe if I ask nicely I can get D to experiment with me later. Seriously though, if anyone out there can explain to me how dental dams work I will be all ears and immense appreciation.
Syphilis is caused by a bacteria and is transmitted through contact with a syphilitic sore. These sores do not usually hurt, and if you dig through pictures of them on google images you’ll see that while many examples look obviously diseased there are plenty of others that could be easily mistaken for a razorbump or bug bite. They can be hidden in a mouth, rectum, or vaginal canal. As with HPV and herpes simplex, condoms do reduce the risk by reducing the amount of exposed skin. Again, they do leave large expanses of skin uncovered and transmission is still entirely possible during both penetrative and oral sex.
Hepatitis C (the chronic hepatitis that there is no vaccine for) has a low risk of sexual transmission. It is mostly spread by blood to blood contact, which may seem unlikely but gets scarier when you think about it. Broken skin because of razorburn, small tears in the delicate tissue of the rectum or vagina from vigorous sex, menstrual blood, hangnails, and little invisible cuts in your mouth and gums from brushing, flossing, or eating captain crunch are all ways that hepatitis could leave or enter a body.
Intravenous drug use isn’t directly related to the subject of sexually transmitted diseases, but while we’re talking about hepatitis C and HIV I might as well mention it. If you’re going to shoot heroin, or meth, or whatever else the kids are shoving into their veins these days, please use your own needle. There are lots of needle exchange programs, like CitiWide in NYC and Clean Needles Now in LA. I know it’s kind of hard to care about health and safety when you’re high or going through withdrawal, but being chronically ill from either disease is going to interfere with your ability to afford your drugs and acquire them. Also, drugs are bad and stuff. But if you were going to listen to that you wouldn’t be shooting up in the first place.
HIV is the big, incurable STD that condoms do provide a high degree of protection from, as long as the condom is being used properly and does not break. I feel like we should all know this by now, but just in case: You cannot get HIV from shaking someone’s hand or letting them cry on your shoulder. You cannot get HIV from sitting on the same couch as an infected person. You can get HIV from having sex with a person who is infected with it. Unprotected oral sex with a person who has HIV and blood-to-blood contact also carry a risk of transmission.
Condoms, frequent testing, and requiring your partners to be frequently tested are all good ways to lower your risk of contracting HIV. In the adult industry, we use an RNA test which detects new HIV infections in 9 - 11 days. The RNA test detects the actual virus, as opposed to detecting antibodies like most (or possibly all) other HIV tests. As far as I can tell, antibody tests can fail to detect a new infection that the RNA test would catch. Planned Parenthood offers blood tests for HIV and testing for other STDs. The US Center for Disease Control has a great resource for other places to get tested. As misguided as the AHF’s push for Measure B is, they do provide free HIV testing in many places using the OraQuick Advance test. I wouldn’t have bareback sex with someone based solely on a negative saliva test, but it is also better than nothing.
I feel extremely comfortable having condom-less sex with fellow adult performers. I see this as the same sort of calculated risk a stunt person takes when they go to work. We are tested every 14-28 days and use the most sensitive tests available to us. When one person tests positive for HIV or syphilis, we call a full stop to all sex scenes and everyone goes into the clinic to get tested. Sexual partners are disclosed and people who are at risk are notified and quarantined. But what about outside of work?
If I’m having sex with a person who is not in the adult industry, I want them to have had a clean test in the past six months and use condoms. If they have something odd going on with their genitals (a rash, a sore, an odor) I don’t have sex with them. If they seem unconcerned about condom use, I don’t have sex with them. If they’re injecting drugs, I don’t have sex with them. If they’re engaged in other high risk behaviors or I don’t know them well enough to evaluate how high risk their lifestyle is, I don’t have sex with them. If I don’t trust them to disclose what sexual acts they’ve been up to lately, I don’t have sex with them. I’m being repetitive here because I really want to make sure this point gets made.
I’ve never hit on or been propositioned by someone who is HIV positive, but I would not feel comfortable having sex with them even with a condom. This is because condoms do fail sometimes. I also would not feel comfortable having sex with untested adult performers even if condoms were being used. Again, this is because condoms do fail sometimes.
These are the risks I am and am not willing to take. I am aware of most of the risks and available methods of protection. I have spoken to my doctor. I have made my own decisions. If you are or are going to be sexually active, you should probably educate yourself through research, talk to your doctor, and make your own decisions about the risks you take and how to lower them. It’s called being a mature adult. People who are not adults are children… and if there’s one thing I’m sure of it’s that having sex with children is a totally not cool thing to do with your genitals.
Clothing and accessories can be fashionable, trendy, or cool, but their main practical purpose is to protect our bodies from the world. Bathing suits protect our tender genital skin from sand. If you burn easily like I do, parasols add a helpful extra layer of protection from the sun. Hats, scarves, and coats protect us from cold weather and wind. Shoes protect our feet from sharp things on the ground. Waterproof or water-resistant boots protect our feet and ankles in rain, sleet, or snow.
I think it is safe to assume that most of us have this concept down pretty well. We wear heavy coats and other necessary winter gear during the cold season. We wear lighter fabrics and shorts in warm places so we don’t overheat. Sometimes, we (well, specifically me) forget that San Francisco is not Los Angeles and end up freezing our butts off while wondering why we didn’t properly research the weather before we went on a trip. The point here is that different weather conditions require different forms of protection. Protection depends on the environment or context.
If you think we’re headed on another analogy adventure, you are correct…
…and yes, of course it’s about sex.
Having sex is like going outside. Before you can do it in as safe a manner as possible, you need to figure out what the conditions are like and what combination of methods you believe will best protect you. The safest would be to abstain from all sexual contact with other people. No penetrative sex, no oral sex, no kissing and no nude or semi-nude contact with others. This is the sex version of never leaving your home and avoiding sharing the same air with other people. If you never leave your home, your chances of being hit by a vehicle, catching an airborne virus like bird flu, or being mugged are very very low. Most people are not going to go with the never leaving the house plan and most people are not going to go with the absolute abstinence plan either.
So let’s discuss some of the risks that come with sexual contact:
Pubic lice or crabs, scabies, molluscum, hepatitis A, B and C, HPV, herpes (HSV1 and HSV2), trichomoniasis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and HIV. There are probably others that I am not aware of. Crabs, scabies, and molluscum are also transmitted in non-sexual ways, such as sharing bedding or towels with an infected person or skin-to-skin contact. Hepatitis A, B and C can be also transmitted in non-sexual ways.
I suggest that you put the above STI/STDs into the google machine and spend some quality time reading about them. While you’re doing that, think about where the information you’re looking at is coming from. Consider how qualified the person who put it out there is, how old an article might be, and whether new information may have been discovered since it was written… but I know some of you probably aren’t going to do that.
If you aren’t going to completely abstain from all sexual activity, a good step towards safer sex is to get all the available vaccinations. There are vaccinations available for hepatitis A and B. I don’t know about other countries and states, but there is a free vaccination program in NY for people who are at risk and who either don’t have insurance or have insurance that doesn’t cover the A and B vaccine. There is also a vaccine that prevents some strains of human papillomavirus (HPV, which causes genital warts, cervical cancer, and may cause cancer of the rectum, vagina, penis, throat and tongue). According to the CDC at least 50% of sexually active people will get HPV at some point. Cervarix vaccinates against two strains of HPV and Gardasil vaccinates against the same two strains and an additional two.
I had the hepatitis A and B vaccine at 13 and completed the Gardasil vaccine before the end of my first year working in hardcore porn. As long as the vaccines were administered properly and work like they’re supposed to, that’s two kinds of hepatitis and four kinds of HPV that I will not get. This means that my risk of sexually transmitted infections is lowered slightly. This is awesome, but there’s still the whole rest of that list to be concerned about.
There are many other strains of HPV. Over half of americans between the ages of 14 and 49 have HSV1, and over 16% of americans in that same age group have HSV2. I haven’t found any data discussing the overlap, but there probably is some. Even though HSV1 is known as oral herpes, it can infect and cause blisters and sores on genitals. There is a blood test for herpes, but is not entirely accurate and has been known to give false negative results. For instance: earlier this year I had shingles. Because of my sexual history two separate cultures and a blood test for herpes simplex were run. Both cultures indicated shingles, and my blood test came back negative for both HSV1 and HSV2. According to the blood test, I do not have oral or genital herpes… But let’s think about that one for a minute. I have had sex with more than 100 people and will usually catch a cold if someone sneezes on the opposite end of an airplane I’m on. I don’t particularly want a herpes simplex diagnosis, but you do have to question whether it is more likely that I’ve been very lucky and beaten the odds or that the blood test failed.
HPV and herpes simplex can be spread from genitals to genitals and mouths. This means that you can get HPV or herpes from putting your mouth on an infected person’s genitals. HPV and herpes can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, which includes activities like dry-humping in your underwear. Neither of these infections have to have visible symptoms to be transmitted. HPV and herpes can both live in the skin surrounding the penis or vagina. Vulvas (all the outside lady-parts), testicles and anuses can transmit and be infected by both of these viruses, meaning that a condom does not entirely protect you or your partner(s). Condoms do reduce the risk by reducing the amount of exposed skin. There is no HPV test approved for use on men.
If you’ve been following my twitter and tumblr in the past couple of weeks, you’ve hopefully seen my explanation of how pornography’s self-imposed safety regulations work. You’ve also hopefully seen Kayden Kross’s practical discussion of Measure B on xbiz.com and James Deen’s blunt opinion on his blog. To my knowledge, Nina Hartley has not felt the need to weigh in on the subject recently, but as a veteran performer who started working in porn in 1984, is still in the adult industry, and is a registered nurse, I believe she has the most credible and educated opinion on the subject of safer sex in the straight porn industry. I’m not linking to anything that the AHF or Yes on Measure B has to say because I have faith in your ability to google it and I kind of just don’t want to.
Ideally, you’ve ingested the information and formed your own opinion. Likely, some of you have done this and others are blindly cheering us on or wholly swallowing the opposition’s propaganda. I frequently struggle to come to terms with it, but I can’t force people to listen, fully comprehend, or think critically.
Our point is that Measure B and other condom laws attempt to fix a problem that doesn’t exist. We do not have rampant HIV transmission in pornography. We have not had a single case of performer to performer HIV transmission since 2004. In my experience, we openly tell each other when something may not be right with our genitals. Digital Playground has replaced talent the morning of a scene because the performer called in saying their genitals felt or smelled off and they needed to re-test before exposing others to them.
I work at the glossy, couples-oriented contract performer end of the industry. I choose not to use condoms at work. I do choose to use them in my personal life when I have partners that are not in the adult industry who I am non-monogamous with. I did four girl/girl sex scenes before signing my contract with Digital Playground. I have never worked with an agent. I cannot speak for the women and men who perform in the majority of the sex scenes produced each year.
Wicked Pictures requires condoms. Most companies say they are condom optional. From what I hear, with some companies the option is to use a condom or not, and with others the option is to not use a condom or not work for that company. Ideally this should be an industry-wide actual choice. Requiring that all performers in a section of California, or even all of California or the USA use condoms at work does not give us that choice. It either forces us to use condoms when some of us do not want to and find it less safe than the testing system we already have in place, or strongly encourages the adult industry to move to places where condom use is not mandatory.
Here’s the thing though: Performers who are unhappy with the amount of condom-optional or condom-mandatory work don’t have to work in hardcore pornography. There are softcore and solo options. Nude photo sets for websites and magazine spreads are options. Also: webcamming, solo or masturbation scenes, and niche fetish-oriented clips involving (sometimes non-nude) acts like tickling, wriggling of toes, or consumption of phallic shaped foods. One day I’ll tell you about the time I was hired for a day of “sweater fetish” work, but that’s way off topic right now. Sure, there isn’t as much money to be made and it is more difficult to build a popular or recognizable brand, but disposable income and notoriety are not a right.
According to the US Department of Labor, 2,289,010 people in our country wait tables. I waited tables for a little over eight months when, unhappy with my working conditions at Digital Playground, I made a choice to use one of the loopholes in my contract and stop working in the adult industry. Part of using that loophole meant that I wasn’t able to write, perform on stage or appear in front of a camera as Stoya or under any other name without putting myself in a more precarious legal position. It was scary and I spent the entirety of my savings on lawyers. My boss was aware of my employment history when he hired me and, due to the size of the town, a significant portion of the patrons knew as well. It was actual work every day, it wasn’t glamorous or exciting, sometimes my hands got burned because I didn’t know how to hold a plate, and my entire life smelled like old duck sauce. This is called a job. I kept doing this job until the (now former) owners of Digital Playground and I were able to work out something acceptable to both of us. Some people make a profitable life long career of serving food. Most people in the US work jobs that aren’t glamorous or lucrative. Working two jobs or working while getting a college degree or vocational training is common.
Now that we’ve established why the problem that Measure B attempts to fix does not exist, and briefly discussed the fact that most adult performers unhappy with the work available to them are capable of finding some other type of employment, there’s another concept in this mess that really stands out to me.
It isn’t the pornography industry’s job to provide sexual education. If you look back through my archives here on tumblr though, you can see that I feel and act on a personal responsibility to try. In the US we have this intense squeamishness about sex. Practical, easily understood information can be difficult to come by even for someone who makes a career out of sex. The same line of thinking that led to anti-drug PSA’s from Pee Wee Herman and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles leads me to believe that there are cases where an adult performer would be seen as a more credible source than say, Dr. Ruth (who, by the way, is AWESOME). As discussed in the post I linked to at the beginning of this paragraph, some performers and companies do try to raise awareness about and encourage safer sex practices, some of us do try to further discussions on sexuality and sex performed for entertainment vs. sex performed purely for personal enjoyment. We just aren’t as effective as we could be, and I’m not sure how to get there.
I’m about to do something that is probably a terrible idea. I’m about to talk about STIs. I’m not a doctor. I am familiar with how things said on the internet are quoted out of context or read without full comprehension. I feel like these things need to be said anyway.
The way that I see it, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and Syphilis are kind of like Strep Throat for your genitals. They’re all bacteria. They’re all easily cured with antibiotics if caught early. If you don’t catch and treat them early, they can cause serious damage to your body. Untreated Syphilis will eventually eat your brain, and kill you. Strep Throat can progress into Rheumatic Fever, which people used to (possibly still do) die from too. If you have one of these infections, it’s really freaking rude to pass it around. Do you see the parallels here? Sweet.
First let’s talk about catching things early. You’re aware of your throat. You’re aware of how it usually feels when you swallow and how things usually taste. You’re familiar with what your tongue and mouth look like on an average day. You know when something isn’t right. How aware are you of your genitals? Do you know how they usually feel? Do you know which parts are sensitive in which ways, what they look like in their resting and aroused states? If you have a vagina, do you know what goo happens during which parts of your cycle and what the typical texture and taste of these goos is? If you have a penis, I’m sure there’s some kind of equivalent, but I’m not qualified to speak on that. If you’re good friends with your genitals, you’re more likely to notice as soon as something out of the ordinary is going on with them. However, some STIs don’t show symptoms. Some people don’t show symptoms. Sometimes things get overlooked or written off as symptoms of another issue. This is why frequent STI testing is recommended, even if you’re diligently using condoms. Condoms can break, they can slip off, and they only cover part of the genitals. STIs can be transmitted through oral sex. STIs can be transmitted via shared toys, a finger that goes in a vagina and then into your mouth.
Moving on to how it’s rude to pass it around. If your throat hurts and you feel sick, I’d like to think you’d call out of work. I’d like to think that you’d wash your hands frequently, cover your mouth when you cough, and be careful about where you leave your tissues. You might warn people you’ve been in close contact with you’re sick and remind them to drink their orange juice. If it burns when you pee, you have an odd rash, or your genitals smell different than normal, I’d like to think you’d keep them in your pants until they can be assessed by a doctor. I’d like to think you’d immediately tell your sexual partners that they may have been exposed to something.
This paragraph is kind of random but definitely related: Most sexual education materials seem to have a worst-case scenario approach to what STIs look like and how they present. The most readily available pictures of each disease are, frankly, horrifying, but they don’t stop people from having sex. They don’t even stop people from having unprotected sex with near-strangers they’ve picked up at a bar. I think these worst-case images may actually contribute to an unrealistic feeling of ability to spot someone with an STI. For instance, you meet someone at a nightclub. They seem nice, smart, clean. You take their pants off later and see one small irritated bump. It could be a shaving injury or an ingrown hair. After all, it doesn’t look a thing like the cauliflower-like growths you’ve seen in pictures of HPV and certainly isn’t a blistered mass of angry red sores like the images of HSV2 (genital herpes) you were shown once in 8th grade. You really want to get your dick wet, and they *do* seem nice and clean. Maybe it is just razorburn, or maybe you end up with an incurable viral STI, partially because you were making decisions based on faulty information.
Why don’t we approach sexually transmitted infections the same way that we approach the flu or pinkeye? Why isn’t practical, easily understood information about STIs readily available? Why, in a world where Jenna Jameson is a household name and people can (and do) google up every sexual act imaginable to watch video footage of it, are we still so uncomfortable discussing sexual health?
There’s a video involved. I leave it up to you whether you read or watch first.
I’ve never understood vibrators. I’ve gone on record numerous times saying various versions of “I dislike them all except for Lelo’s Nea which I really only appreciate aesthetically.” I think it’s the buzzing that bothers me. I’ve posed for plenty of photospreads with toys, but I’ve always seen them as a poor substitute for a person and I’ve never had an orgasm from one. Less than a month ago I was on a panel at Exxxotica with some of the adult industry’s most successful female performers. Someone in the audience asked what our favorite vibrator was, and every single one of the other women shouted “Hitachi” in unison. That night I received an email from Clayton asking if I’d be interested in his new project.
He’s filming women sitting at a table reading literature. The twist is the things going on below the table. I like these sorts of things… This Empty Love was the first video work I enjoyed doing, making hardcore work with Digital Playground an interesting option later. I think the interesting parts of sex are in the hints of what can’t be seen. Penetrative sex, after all, is an exploration of something dark, moist, and cavelike.
I’ve chosen a section of Supervert’s “Necrophilia Variations.” I’m fascinated by Supervert and their (his?) body of work. I went with the Necrophilia themed volume because I’m currently in an oddly non-morbid obsession with something triangulated by the way an orgasm affects brain chemistry, the reasons behind the french nickname of la petite mort, and why my mind goes completely blank when I’m at the height of a sexual experience. There’s something in there, death and sex, maybe change or growth, and I’ve been focused on it since shortly before I posted “Touch.” Sometimes I can brush this concept with my fingertips, but I can’t grab hold and inspect it yet. The only way to understand is to wallow in anything that might hold a clue until it all clicks together (or am distracted by something shiny… but it would have to be *really* shiny.) Tl;dr: That’s the book that felt right.
I’ve been told to dress as I would for a date with a man, not a boy. I’m wearing a dress from Vivienne Westwood’s Anglomania collection last year. The cut limits the range of motion of my arms, but ideally I wouldn’t need to open my own doors or feel the desire to talk on my phone while on a date with a man. My makeup is simple, my heels very high but relatively practical, and my panties are both sophisticated and expensive. Also, damp in the gusset. Sexually speaking I really enjoy things that I can’t predict and things that are new to me. This attempting-to-read-aloud-and-maintain-composure while being sexually stimulated game is new. The video camera adds a dash of exhibitionism which I always appreciate. Most interesting, though, is the Hitachi that my vagina is about to be making very good friends with for the first time.
When I tell Clayton’s lovely assistant for the evening that I’ve never experienced the Hitachi, her eyes light up. I’ve obviously gotten myself into the most fun kind of trouble. Lights get set and everyone assumes their positions. My underwear lays on the floor out of frame. As I start reading, my disbelief is suspended. I forget what is about to happen. The first touch on my thigh sends all available blood to my vulva. I continue to enunciate properly, focusing on the text. I’ve broken a sweat. If this goes on for much longer my hair will be plastered to my head with perspiration as though I’ve been working out or engaging in acrobatic man/woman penetrative fucking. I stumble over a word, my concentration breaks as I go back to pronounce it correctly. Neither the Hitachi or the woman wielding it will be denied, but in the interests of art (and because this feels so beautifully filthy I don’t want it to stop yet) I hold out as long as I can. This section of the world that I’m inhabiting slows down, zooms in. Like a stretched rubber band it suddenly contracts, and I am lovingly punched with an orgasm.
I giggle-pant, hands on the table. Once enough pieces of my mind have come back I deliver the closing line.
