A Kayden, Two Jaydens, and a James Deen
I had just gotten off a plane from LA and wanted my winter coat as soon as possible. My cab driver and I were discussing the quickest route to my apartment in Brooklyn. He called me his co-pilot, which I found charming. Kayden, stuck in traffic somewhere in one of the other boroughs, was trying to convince me to come to the party she was hosting in Manhattan that night.
It takes a really good reason (or a paycheck) to get me out to a nightclub. Kayden happens to be a really good reason. Additionally, James Deen was going to be there for some project he’s working on with two girls who are both named Jayden. If you read his blog, you’re aware of the fact that every time we are within 75 miles of each other we end up in the same room rubbing our faces together.
The party turned out to be at a strip club called HQ, which is the same venue that hosts Fleshbot Fridays. They’re nice people. Amanda Whip occasionally works there but sadly wasn’t in that night. She’s pretty. I got caught by the owner trying to pour most of a shot on the floor instead of in my face. There’s a stage on one end of the club and a pole on the other. Fun fact about Kayden: she likes to dance on stripper poles. When she gets near one she starts to move in this liquid sort of way which makes me think of a blonde, large breasted jungle cat. I loaned her my panties. Porn stars sharing underpants and dancing provocatively is pretty much the norm in my world.
At some point a man sat down next to me and asked what I was doing at a strip club. I told him I work with Kayden and returned his question. He said one of his friends runs porn star sex classes. I don’t understand or really care to understand what that means and responded with uninterested silence, which he filled by saying that he is a dating coach. Fun fact about me: Whatever I’m thinking is usually written all over my face. Kayden came over and pointed out that I had been giving Dating Coach Man a look of extreme distaste which she couldn’t quite decipher. I told her I wasn’t sure exactly what had been going on in my brain, but that I thought I was considering picking my nose vigorously to see what he’d do. Maybe I’m just fascinated by the way that men react to snot.
Later in the night Dating Coach Man came back. Kayden promptly sat down in my lap and stuck her finger up my nose. He stared while I inserted the length of her finger into my mouth and sucked it clean. Then I stuck my own finger in my nostril, pulled it out, and wiggled it close to his face. He didn’t move. Somehow this resulted in Kayden and I laughing hysterically while digging around nose and wiping the results on his cheek.
He still didn’t move.
Somewhere there are pictures of this. Meanwhile, have a blurry picture of James and I being, well, us.
Here’s a production still from UnSEXpected. It comes out on August 7th. Meanwhile, please consider watching the trailer or pre-ordering it from somewhere like AdultDVDEmpire or TLAraw. They’re both very nice companies who also carry my fleshlight.
In April, I went to Los Angeles to shoot a porn movie for Digital Playground. They decided to give it the title “UnSEXpected,” probably because people have sex in it and some of the characters are surprised about it. Non-standard capitalization draws the eye, hammering the adult-oriented nature of the product home. The footage and production stills have been put through the Digital Playground gloss treatment, the press release has been written, and the DVDs are probably being shoved into pretty packaging at this very moment. Now it’s time to do the other half of my job as one of Digital Playground’s stable of super hot exclusive girls - sell the movie. This usually involves a combination of interviews, tweets and re-tweets, and plastering the boxcover over all available social media.
There are some great selling points… Andy San Dimas is beautiful. Brooklyn Lee really does fuck like a demon. I can attest to this fact because I eavesdropped on her scene with Manuel Ferrara for a few minutes like a creeper. Eavesdropping was kind of fun, but would have been better if I’d been naked under a raincoat. For me, depravity is all about the proper wardrobe. Erik Everhard gave me a good, hard railing on top of the pool table, bent over the pool table, and in the air next to the pool table. I’m no amazon, but I’m not exactly pocket-sized either so it’s kind of a treat to get thrown around like that. My second scene in the movie was with James Deen, and this is where I get tripped up. See, having just encountered the pictures of his dick in my ass, the most intelligent thing I have to say on the matter is “Guh! James Deen is so cuuuuuute, and really attractive, and my god - that penis.” The “Guh!” part is the sound of me attempting to wipe the drool off of my chin.
I remember stopping at some point so the makeup artist could touch me up before we switched to softcore. I remember Robby D. saying that anal wasn’t really necessary since I hadn’t shot in a while, and I remember telling him to be quiet and let James do what he wants. There may have been an exclamation about how we hadn’t worked together in three years and his cock belongs in all of my holes. Mostly, though, it’s just “Fuuuuck he’s so hot.”
I think that’s ok though. I think the best porn scenes happen when you take two (or sometimes more) people who really enjoy banging and really enjoy banging each other, put them in a room that happens to be very well lit and also contains a camera and competent camera operator, and let them fuck the way that they want to fuck. Some things just don’t require that much intelligent discussion or introspection.
So let’s try this again from a different angle: I really like fucking. I really like fucking Erik Everhard, and I really like fucking James Deen. I got to fuck both of these people in a movie called “UnSEXpected” for Digital Playground. If you like watching this kind of stuff, I suggest you purchase it as soon as it’s available so DP is motivated to continue making more of these things.