Remember what I was saying about not knowing anyone who uses dental dams and really wanting to hear from anyone who has? Turns out Jiz Lee knows all about them. Please teach us, oh wise one:
Note: this is a follow up of my previous post Safer Sex in Queer Porn and The Condom Debate, which appeared on this site last year, and which I still feel is relavent in the “condom debate.” With the recent backlash against barriers from some in the adult industry, I wanted to join my friend
Wrapping up from parts 1 and 2:
Are you totally freaked out and considering never having sex again or only having sex with a completely faithful monogamous partner? Some of you definitely are. I know this because some of you have said so privately and publicly.
That’s ok. You have this really awesome thing called free will. You have the privilege of deciding what you are and are not comfortable with in any situation. You have the right to tell your partner(s) and potential partners what you want and expect them to respect your limits and boundaries. They also have free will and may have desires and boundaries that are different than yours.
You can choose complete abstinence. You can choose to masturbate alone only after carefully scrubbing your hands with bleach. You can choose to kiss and masturbate together without exchanging any fluids aside from spit. You can choose to only have sex with partners who have been tested within the past three days and use every form of barrier protection available. You can choose to never ask about tests, never get tested, and never use a condom, much less a dental dam or latex gloves. In my opinion, that last one is an extremely unsafe choice, but you have to make your own decisions. Ideally, you make these choices after looking at the benefits and consequences of each of the possibilities. Ideally you only act on these choices after coming to terms with the risks you’re taking.
Sometimes people who you want to have sexual interactions with will not agree with your choices. You can choose to compromise but it’s really important to remember that you can also choose to say no. You can say no at any point. You can say no when you’re already back at their place and a part of you is inside one of their orifices or vice versa.
When you say no, you have to say it. If you don’t say it, they can’t hear it.
They might not want to take no for an answer. They might get offended or not like you anymore because you rejected them. It sucks when that happens, but here’s the thing: there are going to be people in the world who dislike you for no reason at all. There are going to be people in the world who dislike you for reasons that come from places of bigotry or misinformation. There are also probably going to be people in the world who dislike you for valid reasons. To me, deciding what you’re comfortable with sexually, expressing those limits, and expecting others to respect them doesn’t seem like a valid reason for dislike.
When you want to say yes, it’s pretty awesome to say yes, too.
Personally, I’m shy when it comes to the yes part. Most of my yeses are communicated through a wide variety of noises which are not actual words, body language, and text messages that actually cause me to blush when I push “send.” Let me reiterate: I, a woman who gladly has all sorts of sex for public consumption in front of super high-def cameras and regularly tells the internet (and friends/complete strangers who make the mistake of asking in real life) ALL about her menstrual cycle, get shy about expressing specific sexual desires. I can’t imagine how difficult it might be for people who grew up with sex-negative parents or were frequently shamed early in their sexual development without a helpful support system.
The point here is that after educating yourself and choosing the protective measures that you want to use in a given situation, the next step is to communicate.
Hopefully you’ve read part 1 and are ready to forge ahead into part 2 with me. Onward to trichomoniasis!
Trichomoniasis is a parasite that can live in both vaginas and penises. It doesn’t usually have symptoms. When there are symptoms, they may include itching, odd smells, or discharge. There is a test available that involves taking a sample of vaginal or urethral discharge.
Gonorrhea and chlamydia are bacterial infections that can occur in vaginas, penises, anuses and mouths. Like with trich, people infected with gonorrhea or chlamydia frequently do not show symptoms. When people with gonorrhea or chlamydia do show symptoms, the symptoms may include itching, burning when urinating, odd discharge, vaginal bleeding in between periods, and lower abdominal or testicle pain. There is a test available that involves peeing in a sterile cup. It has to be the doctor’s office’s sterile cup. They will not let you use your own. I know this because I’ve asked multiple doctors if I could pee in cups at home to avoid chugging water on the way in for my test and then nearly peeing in my underpants on the subway or while stuck in traffic and they have all said no.
Using latex male condoms is still the best way to prevent transmission of a trichomoniasis, gonorrhea, or chlamydia infection from one person’s genitals to another’s during penetrative sex. Polyurethane and polyisoprene male condoms are also approved by the FDA for prevention of STI transmission, but are not as highly recommended. They do cause fewer allergic reactions, and are definitely more effective than no condom. Internal (or “female”) condoms are considered less safe than latex or polyurethane/polyisoprene condoms, but are again better than nothing. Personally, I tried and failed at vaginal use of the internal condom. I haven’t tried anal use. I am sort of afraid it might get shoved so far into my rectum that I’d need a doctor to fish it out, and am still waiting on that hypothetical lady dressed in librarian gear to come explain what I am doing wrong.
Gonorrhea and chlamydia can both be transmitted through oral sex. Meaning, if your partner has chlamydia or gonorrhea and you put your mouth on their genitals, you can end up with an infection in your throat. I know there is at least one person out there who enjoys giving oral sex to people with penises and is thinking that they’ll be ok if they just don’t swallow the semen. This is incorrect. Pre-ejaculate or preseminal fluid (that yummy clear stuff that comes out of a man’s urethra when he is aroused) can carry both chlamydia and gonorrhea. You could use a condom for oral stimulation on a penis and a dental dam for oral stimulation on a vagina or anus. I have used condoms for blowjobs. It’s about 30 times more difficult, but if you really want to put your mouth on that penis and can’t wait until the person it is attached to has been tested, it’s better than nothing. I don’t know anything about dental dams other than the fact that they can be made by cutting a condom or medical grade latex or polyurethane glove down the middle. I don’t know of a single person who has successfully used a dental dam and would really love to hear from anyone who has. Maybe if I ask nicely I can get D to experiment with me later. Seriously though, if anyone out there can explain to me how dental dams work I will be all ears and immense appreciation.
Syphilis is caused by a bacteria and is transmitted through contact with a syphilitic sore. These sores do not usually hurt, and if you dig through pictures of them on google images you’ll see that while many examples look obviously diseased there are plenty of others that could be easily mistaken for a razorbump or bug bite. They can be hidden in a mouth, rectum, or vaginal canal. As with HPV and herpes simplex, condoms do reduce the risk by reducing the amount of exposed skin. Again, they do leave large expanses of skin uncovered and transmission is still entirely possible during both penetrative and oral sex.
Hepatitis C (the chronic hepatitis that there is no vaccine for) has a low risk of sexual transmission. It is mostly spread by blood to blood contact, which may seem unlikely but gets scarier when you think about it. Broken skin because of razorburn, small tears in the delicate tissue of the rectum or vagina from vigorous sex, menstrual blood, hangnails, and little invisible cuts in your mouth and gums from brushing, flossing, or eating captain crunch are all ways that hepatitis could leave or enter a body.
Intravenous drug use isn’t directly related to the subject of sexually transmitted diseases, but while we’re talking about hepatitis C and HIV I might as well mention it. If you’re going to shoot heroin, or meth, or whatever else the kids are shoving into their veins these days, please use your own needle. There are lots of needle exchange programs, like CitiWide in NYC and Clean Needles Now in LA. I know it’s kind of hard to care about health and safety when you’re high or going through withdrawal, but being chronically ill from either disease is going to interfere with your ability to afford your drugs and acquire them. Also, drugs are bad and stuff. But if you were going to listen to that you wouldn’t be shooting up in the first place.
HIV is the big, incurable STD that condoms do provide a high degree of protection from, as long as the condom is being used properly and does not break. I feel like we should all know this by now, but just in case: You cannot get HIV from shaking someone’s hand or letting them cry on your shoulder. You cannot get HIV from sitting on the same couch as an infected person. You can get HIV from having sex with a person who is infected with it. Unprotected oral sex with a person who has HIV and blood-to-blood contact also carry a risk of transmission.
Condoms, frequent testing, and requiring your partners to be frequently tested are all good ways to lower your risk of contracting HIV. In the adult industry, we use an RNA test which detects new HIV infections in 9 - 11 days. The RNA test detects the actual virus, as opposed to detecting antibodies like most (or possibly all) other HIV tests. As far as I can tell, antibody tests can fail to detect a new infection that the RNA test would catch. Planned Parenthood offers blood tests for HIV and testing for other STDs. The US Center for Disease Control has a great resource for other places to get tested. As misguided as the AHF’s push for Measure B is, they do provide free HIV testing in many places using the OraQuick Advance test. I wouldn’t have bareback sex with someone based solely on a negative saliva test, but it is also better than nothing.
I feel extremely comfortable having condom-less sex with fellow adult performers. I see this as the same sort of calculated risk a stunt person takes when they go to work. We are tested every 14-28 days and use the most sensitive tests available to us. When one person tests positive for HIV or syphilis, we call a full stop to all sex scenes and everyone goes into the clinic to get tested. Sexual partners are disclosed and people who are at risk are notified and quarantined. But what about outside of work?
If I’m having sex with a person who is not in the adult industry, I want them to have had a clean test in the past six months and use condoms. If they have something odd going on with their genitals (a rash, a sore, an odor) I don’t have sex with them. If they seem unconcerned about condom use, I don’t have sex with them. If they’re injecting drugs, I don’t have sex with them. If they’re engaged in other high risk behaviors or I don’t know them well enough to evaluate how high risk their lifestyle is, I don’t have sex with them. If I don’t trust them to disclose what sexual acts they’ve been up to lately, I don’t have sex with them. I’m being repetitive here because I really want to make sure this point gets made.
I’ve never hit on or been propositioned by someone who is HIV positive, but I would not feel comfortable having sex with them even with a condom. This is because condoms do fail sometimes. I also would not feel comfortable having sex with untested adult performers even if condoms were being used. Again, this is because condoms do fail sometimes.
These are the risks I am and am not willing to take. I am aware of most of the risks and available methods of protection. I have spoken to my doctor. I have made my own decisions. If you are or are going to be sexually active, you should probably educate yourself through research, talk to your doctor, and make your own decisions about the risks you take and how to lower them. It’s called being a mature adult. People who are not adults are children… and if there’s one thing I’m sure of it’s that having sex with children is a totally not cool thing to do with your genitals.
Clothing and accessories can be fashionable, trendy, or cool, but their main practical purpose is to protect our bodies from the world. Bathing suits protect our tender genital skin from sand. If you burn easily like I do, parasols add a helpful extra layer of protection from the sun. Hats, scarves, and coats protect us from cold weather and wind. Shoes protect our feet from sharp things on the ground. Waterproof or water-resistant boots protect our feet and ankles in rain, sleet, or snow.
I think it is safe to assume that most of us have this concept down pretty well. We wear heavy coats and other necessary winter gear during the cold season. We wear lighter fabrics and shorts in warm places so we don’t overheat. Sometimes, we (well, specifically me) forget that San Francisco is not Los Angeles and end up freezing our butts off while wondering why we didn’t properly research the weather before we went on a trip. The point here is that different weather conditions require different forms of protection. Protection depends on the environment or context.
If you think we’re headed on another analogy adventure, you are correct…
…and yes, of course it’s about sex.
Having sex is like going outside. Before you can do it in as safe a manner as possible, you need to figure out what the conditions are like and what combination of methods you believe will best protect you. The safest would be to abstain from all sexual contact with other people. No penetrative sex, no oral sex, no kissing and no nude or semi-nude contact with others. This is the sex version of never leaving your home and avoiding sharing the same air with other people. If you never leave your home, your chances of being hit by a vehicle, catching an airborne virus like bird flu, or being mugged are very very low. Most people are not going to go with the never leaving the house plan and most people are not going to go with the absolute abstinence plan either.
So let’s discuss some of the risks that come with sexual contact:
Pubic lice or crabs, scabies, molluscum, hepatitis A, B and C, HPV, herpes (HSV1 and HSV2), trichomoniasis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and HIV. There are probably others that I am not aware of. Crabs, scabies, and molluscum are also transmitted in non-sexual ways, such as sharing bedding or towels with an infected person or skin-to-skin contact. Hepatitis A, B and C can be also transmitted in non-sexual ways.
I suggest that you put the above STI/STDs into the google machine and spend some quality time reading about them. While you’re doing that, think about where the information you’re looking at is coming from. Consider how qualified the person who put it out there is, how old an article might be, and whether new information may have been discovered since it was written… but I know some of you probably aren’t going to do that.
If you aren’t going to completely abstain from all sexual activity, a good step towards safer sex is to get all the available vaccinations. There are vaccinations available for hepatitis A and B. I don’t know about other countries and states, but there is a free vaccination program in NY for people who are at risk and who either don’t have insurance or have insurance that doesn’t cover the A and B vaccine. There is also a vaccine that prevents some strains of human papillomavirus (HPV, which causes genital warts, cervical cancer, and may cause cancer of the rectum, vagina, penis, throat and tongue). According to the CDC at least 50% of sexually active people will get HPV at some point. Cervarix vaccinates against two strains of HPV and Gardasil vaccinates against the same two strains and an additional two.
I had the hepatitis A and B vaccine at 13 and completed the Gardasil vaccine before the end of my first year working in hardcore porn. As long as the vaccines were administered properly and work like they’re supposed to, that’s two kinds of hepatitis and four kinds of HPV that I will not get. This means that my risk of sexually transmitted infections is lowered slightly. This is awesome, but there’s still the whole rest of that list to be concerned about.
There are many other strains of HPV. Over half of americans between the ages of 14 and 49 have HSV1, and over 16% of americans in that same age group have HSV2. I haven’t found any data discussing the overlap, but there probably is some. Even though HSV1 is known as oral herpes, it can infect and cause blisters and sores on genitals. There is a blood test for herpes, but is not entirely accurate and has been known to give false negative results. For instance: earlier this year I had shingles. Because of my sexual history two separate cultures and a blood test for herpes simplex were run. Both cultures indicated shingles, and my blood test came back negative for both HSV1 and HSV2. According to the blood test, I do not have oral or genital herpes… But let’s think about that one for a minute. I have had sex with more than 100 people and will usually catch a cold if someone sneezes on the opposite end of an airplane I’m on. I don’t particularly want a herpes simplex diagnosis, but you do have to question whether it is more likely that I’ve been very lucky and beaten the odds or that the blood test failed.
HPV and herpes simplex can be spread from genitals to genitals and mouths. This means that you can get HPV or herpes from putting your mouth on an infected person’s genitals. HPV and herpes can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, which includes activities like dry-humping in your underwear. Neither of these infections have to have visible symptoms to be transmitted. HPV and herpes can both live in the skin surrounding the penis or vagina. Vulvas (all the outside lady-parts), testicles and anuses can transmit and be infected by both of these viruses, meaning that a condom does not entirely protect you or your partner(s). Condoms do reduce the risk by reducing the amount of exposed skin. There is no HPV test approved for use on men.
I’m about to do something that is probably a terrible idea. I’m about to talk about STIs. I’m not a doctor. I am familiar with how things said on the internet are quoted out of context or read without full comprehension. I feel like these things need to be said anyway.
The way that I see it, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and Syphilis are kind of like Strep Throat for your genitals. They’re all bacteria. They’re all easily cured with antibiotics if caught early. If you don’t catch and treat them early, they can cause serious damage to your body. Untreated Syphilis will eventually eat your brain, and kill you. Strep Throat can progress into Rheumatic Fever, which people used to (possibly still do) die from too. If you have one of these infections, it’s really freaking rude to pass it around. Do you see the parallels here? Sweet.
First let’s talk about catching things early. You’re aware of your throat. You’re aware of how it usually feels when you swallow and how things usually taste. You’re familiar with what your tongue and mouth look like on an average day. You know when something isn’t right. How aware are you of your genitals? Do you know how they usually feel? Do you know which parts are sensitive in which ways, what they look like in their resting and aroused states? If you have a vagina, do you know what goo happens during which parts of your cycle and what the typical texture and taste of these goos is? If you have a penis, I’m sure there’s some kind of equivalent, but I’m not qualified to speak on that. If you’re good friends with your genitals, you’re more likely to notice as soon as something out of the ordinary is going on with them. However, some STIs don’t show symptoms. Some people don’t show symptoms. Sometimes things get overlooked or written off as symptoms of another issue. This is why frequent STI testing is recommended, even if you’re diligently using condoms. Condoms can break, they can slip off, and they only cover part of the genitals. STIs can be transmitted through oral sex. STIs can be transmitted via shared toys, a finger that goes in a vagina and then into your mouth.
Moving on to how it’s rude to pass it around. If your throat hurts and you feel sick, I’d like to think you’d call out of work. I’d like to think that you’d wash your hands frequently, cover your mouth when you cough, and be careful about where you leave your tissues. You might warn people you’ve been in close contact with you’re sick and remind them to drink their orange juice. If it burns when you pee, you have an odd rash, or your genitals smell different than normal, I’d like to think you’d keep them in your pants until they can be assessed by a doctor. I’d like to think you’d immediately tell your sexual partners that they may have been exposed to something.
This paragraph is kind of random but definitely related: Most sexual education materials seem to have a worst-case scenario approach to what STIs look like and how they present. The most readily available pictures of each disease are, frankly, horrifying, but they don’t stop people from having sex. They don’t even stop people from having unprotected sex with near-strangers they’ve picked up at a bar. I think these worst-case images may actually contribute to an unrealistic feeling of ability to spot someone with an STI. For instance, you meet someone at a nightclub. They seem nice, smart, clean. You take their pants off later and see one small irritated bump. It could be a shaving injury or an ingrown hair. After all, it doesn’t look a thing like the cauliflower-like growths you’ve seen in pictures of HPV and certainly isn’t a blistered mass of angry red sores like the images of HSV2 (genital herpes) you were shown once in 8th grade. You really want to get your dick wet, and they *do* seem nice and clean. Maybe it is just razorburn, or maybe you end up with an incurable viral STI, partially because you were making decisions based on faulty information.
Why don’t we approach sexually transmitted infections the same way that we approach the flu or pinkeye? Why isn’t practical, easily understood information about STIs readily available? Why, in a world where Jenna Jameson is a household name and people can (and do) google up every sexual act imaginable to watch video footage of it, are we still so uncomfortable discussing sexual health?
I shot one adult film this year. I was in two hardcore scenes, and it was shot three or four weeks ago. Yesterday news appeared about another performer in the adult industry testing positive for HIV through AIM. Exposure to sexually transmitted infections is a risk that adult performers take when they go to work.
Is this an unnerving situation? Yes. Am I going to get a new round of blood tests as soon as possible? Yes. Am I refraining from having sex or exchanging body fluids with people until I get the results back? Absolutely. Should this mean Cal-OSHA immediately comes into the adult industry and enforces mandatory dental dam use? Not necessarily.
As an industry, I believe we should strive to produce the best possible product for the consumer under the best (safest) possible working conditions for the performers and crew. Currently a clean (negative for gonorrhea, chlamydia and HIV) test taken within the previous thirty days is required to work as talent on a porn set. Personally, I require the performers I work with to have been tested in the previous two days (I also test within two days before a scene since hypocrisy isn’t really my thing.) There are other girls who also require tests two days before a scene, although it does take a certain level of status to get producers to work with this requirement.
Two day testing means that (I think) I know the other performer was free of chlamydia and gonorrhea ten days before they tested and free of HIV three weeks before. [DISCLAIMER: I am not a scientist. I am also not a doctor. I do the best I can with CDC materials and the internet to understand things like STI incubation periods. If you are a scientist or doctor please feel free to correct or enlighten me.] This doesn’t make unprotected sex safe. This does make unprotected sex safer.
There is no such thing as safe sex. “Safe sex” would be complete abstinence, and a porn movie with abstinent performers would be pretty boring, not to mention highly inaccurate. A lot of the more experienced performers try to cut down on STI transmission, AIM tries, the big production companies like Digital Playground, Evil Angel, Vivid and others try, but at the end of the day we have people having unprotected sex for a camera and have to find a balance between safer working conditions and a profitable product that the consumer is happy with. I don’t have the answers to this, but I don’t particularly feel like Cal-OSHA does all on their own either. The various groups with a stake in this issue (the talent, production companies, and entities who regulate and advocate for workers’ welfare) need to work together on this, because the government and porn are both here to stay.
