…and a fairly unedited rant on some closely related subjects.

Yesterday I went in for my first laser hair removal treatment on my ladyparts.

Since laser hair removal is fairly permanent and I’ve had a couple of bad waxing experiences where the aesthetician took too much hair or shaped what they left too much for my tastes, I was very specific about what of my pubes I wanted to keep. I was so specific that we actually got a marker and drew lines indicating what should go. The laser technician was noticeably surprised by how much of my pubic hair I wanted to keep. I felt slightly judged.

Personally, I like to have options with my bush. I like to be able to be completely bald or have a lush patch of fur in the front. I am, however, completely certain that I want the hair on my outer labia (or as my former manager Adella used to call it “the undercarriage”) gone. See, it gets caught in my lacy underpants sometimes and hurts when it gets pulled out.

Fun factoid: I didn’t really wear underwear until a couple of years ago. It probably has something to do with spending so much of my childhood in a leotard and tights, where underwear turns into this bunchy mess that ruins the lines of an arabesque. My coming-of-age tale of learning to love lingerie isn’t really the current topic of discussion, but the bottom line is that my time with Digital Playground showed me how nifty underwear can be. I really took a liking to panties. I’ve never been able to get used to the pinch of a pubic hair getting ripped out by panty elastic though.

So I decided the undercarriage hair had to go. While we were down there, it made sense to kill the few hair follicles that live outside the panty lines… the ones that I always shaved or tweezed or waxed regardless of whether I was growing a full untamed bush or going for a more manicured look. I decided to go ahead with laser removal because I get razorburn like craaaazy and it hurts.

When I tweeted yesterday about the fact that I was having some of my vulva hair semi-permanently removed, some of my followers had a small “Stoya is going to have a perma-bald pudenda forever” party. I can see why some of you may have assumed that, but you are incorrect.

Maybe I’m just a bit snappier or more short-tempered this week than usual, but I reacted very negatively to what I perceived as a lack of appreciation for pussies in their natural state.

I just want everyone in the world to know that twats are incredibly varied and all wonderful, and I have intensely negative emotional reactions when I see anything that seems like vulva judgment.

Pubic hair comes in different colors, different textures, and different patterns of distribution. Vaginal canals (the part that can be fun to stick things in) have different textures. Labia come in different colors and sizes. If a woman wants to keep all of her pubic hair and nurture how wild it is or get rid of it completely, that is her choice. Whether a woman has light pink inner labia or dark purple inner labia, labia minora that reach outside of the majora and wave around like a flag, labia minora that are all tucked up inside in a way that looks kind of like a coin slot or absolutely anything in between, her pussy (in my opinion) is inherently beautiful.

-Stoya