In April, I went to Los Angeles to shoot a porn movie for Digital Playground. They decided to give it the title “UnSEXpected,” probably because people have sex in it and some of the characters are surprised about it. Non-standard capitalization draws the eye, hammering the adult-oriented nature of the product home. The footage and production stills have been put through the Digital Playground gloss treatment, the press release has been written, and the DVDs are probably being shoved into pretty packaging at this very moment. Now it’s time to do the other half of my job as one of Digital Playground’s stable of super hot exclusive girls - sell the movie. This usually involves a combination of interviews, tweets and re-tweets, and plastering the boxcover over all available social media. 

There are some great selling points… Andy San Dimas is beautiful. Brooklyn Lee really does fuck like a demon. I can attest to this fact because I eavesdropped on her scene with Manuel Ferrara for a few minutes like a creeper. Eavesdropping was kind of fun, but would have been better if I’d been naked under a raincoat. For me, depravity is all about the proper wardrobe. Erik Everhard gave me a good, hard railing on top of the pool table, bent over the pool table, and in the air next to the pool table. I’m no amazon, but I’m not exactly pocket-sized either so it’s kind of a treat to get thrown around like that. My second scene in the movie was with James Deen, and this is where I get tripped up. See, having just encountered the pictures of his dick in my ass, the most intelligent thing I have to say on the matter is “Guh! James Deen is so cuuuuuute, and really attractive, and my god - that penis.” The “Guh!” part is the sound of me attempting to wipe the drool off of my chin.

I remember stopping at some point so the makeup artist could touch me up before we switched to softcore. I remember Robby D. saying that anal wasn’t really necessary since I hadn’t shot in a while, and I remember telling him to be quiet and let James do what he wants. There may have been an exclamation about how we hadn’t worked together in three years and his cock belongs in all of my holes. Mostly, though, it’s just “Fuuuuck he’s so hot.” 

I think that’s ok though. I think the best porn scenes happen when you take two (or sometimes more) people who really enjoy banging and really enjoy banging each other, put them in a room that happens to be very well lit and also contains a camera and competent camera operator, and let them fuck the way that they want to fuck. Some things just don’t require that much intelligent discussion or introspection.

So let’s try this again from a different angle: I really like fucking. I really like fucking Erik Everhard, and I really like fucking James Deen. I got to fuck both of these people in a movie called “UnSEXpected” for Digital Playground. If you like watching this kind of stuff, I suggest you purchase it as soon as it’s available so DP is motivated to continue making more of these things.