This is happening over on EvilAngel.com. I’m the upside down one.
of what can happen to a writer’s work between being turned in and being posted.
The Original Piece:
Masters Of Sex is a Showtime series about William Masters and Virginia Johnson - a doctor and a former nightclub singer who revolutionized the way we understand the mechanics of sex. I have a lot of hands on experience with sex. Please feel free to verify the previous statement via google, although I’d caution you not to do so at work. Without further adieu, here are the things I learned from watching the first six episodes of Masters Of Sex:
Lizzy Caplan is noticeably more conventionally attractive than Virginia Johnson was. Michael Sheen is also more attractive than man he is playing. Objects in the mirror may be rearranged to appear more aesthetically pleasing than they originally were.
Masters and Johnson were the people who divided human sexual response into the four stages of excitement, plateau, orgasm, and refractory period. This narrative arc is nearly ubiquitous in adult films and our discussions and concepts of heterosexual sex in western culture. Thinking of male ejaculation as the natural end of sexual interaction sometimes contributes to neglect of female pleasure. It also seems to put a whole lot of pressure on the person with the penis to deliver some jizz. Unless you are a sex worker at work, why would you want to frame any part of sex as a task to be accomplished?
Blooming flowers are an effective metaphor for female arousal.
If the experiences of Dr. Ethan Haas are to be believed, oral sex was practically unheard of for many americans in the mid twentieth century. Dear USA, You’re welcome. xoxo - The adult film industry
Quadruplets : 1950s :: Octuplets : 2000s. Yes, I did just reference the SATs.
Male rabbits flirt by swatting at other rabbits with their paws. Everybody say “Awww.” Or don’t, whatever makes you happy.
Ovulation in female rabbits (the thing where they release an egg which can combine with semen to result in bunnies) is triggered by penetration.
If your name is William Masters, sexual practices which differ from your own are deviant until it turns out that someone you know and respect engages in them. Then they’re worthy of research… and also great blackmail. Fun Fact: The Masters and Johnson Institute ran a program in the 70s to convert homosexuals into heterosexuals. Sometimes scientists are judgey wudgey jerks.
William H. Masters III (Dr. Masters’s son) has been arrested for indecent exposure on more than one occasion. I learned this while verifying that the elder Masters actually was a sleepwalker. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57507270-504083/william-h-masters-iii-famed-sex-researchers-son-charged-with-indecent-exposure-mich-police-say/
Oh yeah - William Masters was a sleepwalker.
Scientists have an intense set of protocols for protecting the identities of people taking part in medical studies.
Crotch blood from a pregnant woman is cause for alarm.
Sigmund Freud thought there was something wrong with adult females who only orgasm from clitoral stimulation. In case you aren’t aware, he was incorrect.
You may have noticed the scarcity of scientific facts in this list of things I learned from watching a show about people who studied sex. This is because there are not many scientific facts in the show. Halfway through the first season the series is understandably still at the point where the pair are just beginning to gather useful data. Additionally, Showtime has never appeared to have the same educational goals as, say, National Geographic or PBS. It is completely possible that they were just looking for a compelling story with plenty of excuses to show nude people writhing around. If so, well done. At the end of the day this show - much like pornography - is meant as entertainment. Get your facts somewhere else like Masters and Johnson’s books or really any other media on sexuality meant for education.
The Final Product:
By Joey Falsetta for The Unlimited Magazine
I wish I could explain it and I’m really sorry that someone is playing it that often in your work place. That must be extremely annoying.
Revlon Shades EQ. A mix of 6C and 6R. According to my superintendent it’s a pretty old school method so salons don’t usually have it.
If you or your partner(s) are super freaked out by the possibility of it being pee, you probably shouldn’t mess with it. The scientific jury is still out on the legitimacy and whys of female ejaculation, and as long as there’s stuff like cancer to work on you can’t really blame them for back burner-ing it.
Or I was commenting on how everyone is being pitched on erotic novels like everyone was being pitched on reality shows a couple of years ago. But hey, if you want to project qualitative judgement onto that statement that’s your right.
Our celebrity mascot Stoya, the worlds most awesome porn star ever, brings us her annual #fistingday submission. Thank you, stoya. <3
Because fisting is a completely legitimate and very enjoyable sexual practice, and because I <3 y’all too.
Shirking the F-word feels like turning my back on the women who fought to give me many of the advantages I have. So here goes: Hi, I’m Stoya. My politics and I are feminist… But my job is not.
I read this and I liked it as I usually like what Stoya writes… and then I made the mistake of reading the comments. So now I would really like to repeatedly punch people.
Thank you :) Also: Never read the comments! (I know, I do it too sometimes)